expanding on imposter syndrome and insecurities

Thursday, 18 April 2019

I genuinely never realised how long it'd been since I last posted. But, here I am! Hope you're all doing well.
I went to Amsterdam for a weekend last month (if the sunflowers didn't give it away - so I should be able to post about that soon. 
Today marks my 200th post - which is an amazing milestone to me, as I usually get bored of anything which is related to creativity/anything that requires effort. I've spoken about why I started blogging, but - as everyone knows - I went through a period of almost four months only posting when I felt like it (and suppose I kinda do that now too) and there have been moments where I considered stopping altogether.

Like everyone, I have moments when I'm extremely insecure. I have days where I think people don't actually reads/cares about my blog, days where I think I'm just annoying and no one likes me and days where I feel so lonely in the blogging community - like no one would really miss me if I packed it all in. This isn't helped at all by my love/hate relationship with Twitter and how I don't really keep up to date with the blogging community, but here we are. I genuinely don't have time for drama, and I'm torn between the whole 'if anyone wanted to talk to you they would make an effort' and realising that everyone else feels the same mindset - something which I am trying to work on.



I also don't know anyone who blogs in real life either. I don't think there is much of a scene for Glasgow bloggers and the ones that I have seen seem miles away from me - in the sense that they're all doing so well, and here I am, never really having the time or patience to blog.

With all of that said, I know that not taking a proactive stance in the blogging community is one of my flaws - and I am working on it. And I know the only reason I'm feeling this disenheartened when it comes to my lack of blogging is because I'm so stressed with uni right now - and I'm telling myself that this summer will be easier. I'm not travelling as much, I'm a lot happier now than I was this time last year and things seem to be a bit better.

Ashleigh xxx


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